Back Row Banter

From explosions to pathos

Review: Giant Spider Invasion June 6, 2010

   There are certain films in which the title tells you everything you need to know about them. Usually if a film can state the entire plot in three or four words, if the title can pretty much act as a pitch, then the audience is aware of what they are going to get. Snakes on a Plane is an example. As is Snakes on a Train. Anybody expecting to see La Regle du Jeu at a movie with a title like that will be sorely dissapointed. Invariably these films will have no budget, absurd dialogue and a wafer thin plot punctuated with plot holes galore. Yet if the viewer can appropriately lower their expectations of what they are about to see, these films can be a lot of fun. In the instance of Giant Spider Invasion, however, this is not the case. No matter how much expectations are lowered Invasion will plunge deeper still like in some game of idiotic limbo. To state that a film called Giant Spider Invasion is a feature that fails to live up to the low standards that its title implies would be a hyperbolic understatement. It is an embarrasment, it is fun free dirge, a waste of time not even worth exploring as a piece of kitsch.

   Whilst the poor effects are no better, nor worse, than its filmic peers, what Giant Spider Invasion seems to lack is any sense of focus. B-movies generally work best when their absurd plots are treated with either po-faced piety or with a tongue in cheek embrace of their limitations. Invasion scuttles back and forth in tone, existing in a purgatory of banality neither humorous nor interesting. Some films, that take years to make, are called labours of love. This appears to be a very rare beast – a feature that just happens to have happened. I am not sure, off the top of my head, when the last time was I struggled to enjoy a film so much. Having pondered for some time, I am not sure why this film exists. The people involved in making this film must surely feel the same way.